seattle seahawks

October 9, 2015

Badgers and Packers and Cubs…Oh, My!

Four games in four cities in three days. Two thousand miles away from home. Easy as an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass. Sometimes everything just falls into place and a simple trip to see a football game turns into an epic guys weekend. Here is the story of how my buddy Eric and I shared an unforgettable 96 hours together in mid-September. Back in 2011 I moved with my family from Wisconsin to Washington state. Despite moving into the heart of Seahawks territory I remained true to my Green Bay Packers. I can say “my” Packers since I’m an actual team owner, one of the thousands of people who purchased a share of stock to support the Packers. Well, in 2012 the Packers had a visit to Seattle scheduled for a Monday Night Football game. My oldest daughter and I wanted to go to the game, but tickets online were pretty pricey. On a whim I called the Seahawks ticket office and found out that I could get a half-season ticket package (four games) for about $25 more than it would cost me to buy the ticket online to the one game. While I’m no math major, that decision was pretty simple. Even though the now infamous “Fail Mary game” ended on one of the most controversial calls in NFL history, I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the Clink (CenturyLink Stadium). I was able to bring my friend Eric to the final two home games at the Clink. He’s a native of Tacoma and a life-long Seattle sports fan. During one of those games together I told him that we should plan a trip to Lambeau Field in Green Bay the next time the Seahawks played there. Eric was concerned that we wouldn’t be able to find reasonably priced tickets to the game, but I assured him that I knew people who had tickets. One of the perks of growing up 35 miles south of Green Bay, I guess. I also knew that one of my long-time friends from college days had access to his mother-in-law’s tickets, as she had finally gotten four of them after waiting on the season ticket waiting list for nearly 40 years. One way or another, I was confident that I could get us tickets to the game.

Despite the heartbreak of the NFC Championship Game in January, in which the Packers practically handed the game to the Seahawks, Eric and I remained friends and continued to discuss the possibility of a road trip to see a Packers-Seahawks game in Wisconsin. While the dates were not set, the NFL had released the opponents for the 2015 season, and, sure enough, the Seahawks were slated to visit Green Bay. I emailed my buddy, Todd, to see if we could stake a claim to two of the tickets for the Seahawks game, whenever it would be. His MIL graciously gave us access to all four tickets, and the NFL released the date for the game in April. The Seahawks would travel to Green Bay for a Week Two matchup, on September 20th. Eric was relieved that it would be early in the season, as he didn’t relish the prospect of a freezing cold December game. After checking with our wives one more time, we bought tickets to fly in and out of Chicago. Other than one layover at O’Hare Airport, Eric had never been in the Midwest in his life. He told me that I was in charge of pretty much everything since I had grown up there and knew what we should see and do. Challenge accepted.
Over breakfast this summer we were discussing our upcoming trip and I mentioned that my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin, might have a home game in Madison that weekend. A quick glance at the schedule confirmed that there was a game that Saturday afternoon at 2:30 pm. Since it would be a non-conference game against Troy I figured that we could secure tickets for less than face value. So, that pretty much would take care of our plans for Saturday, but we still had to figure out what to do on Friday. I suggested some of the tourist sites in Chicago (Millennium Park for the Bean, Navy Pier, Michigan Avenue, Ed Debeveck’s, Sears or Hancock Tower tour) and then casually asked if he’d be interested in a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. That perked him up right away. As a former college baseball player, It’s on Eric’s sports bucket list to attend a game at every MLB park. This would be a perfect opportunity to cross another one off his list IF the Cubs were home that day. Thanks to my handy iPhone I was able to see that the Cubs would be hosting their long time rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals, that afternoon at 1:05 pm. Bingo! This was shaping up to be a pretty fun weekend if we could manage to pull it off. Cubs. Badgers. Packers. Three games. Three iconic venues. Three days.
A few weeks before our trip I made a hotel reservation for our first night after our cross-country flight at a cheap Super 8 motel that provided a free shuttle from the airport. I also reserved a car. It was nice not having to worry about having enough space for car seats and luggage. Just two guys and two bags. My mom, who still lives in my hometown in Wisconsin, was gracious enough to agree to host us Saturday night. Everything was falling into place as we met for breakfast a couple of days before our trip. As we were eating, it occurred to me that we might be able to sneak one more game into our trip. About 75 miles north of Chicago is Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the home of the Brewers. Turns out that the Brewers were hosting the Cincinnati Reds that evening at Miller Park at 7:05 pm. If we left Wrigley around 4 pm we could probably make it to Milwaukee for the Brewers game. Eric and I were pretty stoked at the idea of a two-city, four team, MLB doubleheader. Cubs. Cards. Brewers. Reds. We could do this.
Day One, Thursday-Travel

Armed with a pocketful of cash, a couple of reservations and a carry-on bag, Eric and I made the short drive to SeaTac airport. Of course we were each wearing the shirts for our respective teams while we walked through the airport, so we looked like an odd couple, I’m sure. I, the Packers fan, endured a fair amount of ribbing as we passed through security. Once in the waiting area for our plane it became apparent that we were not alone in our plans for the road trip. There were a lot of Seahawks AND Packers fans waiting to board the flight to Chicago. High fives and fist bumps and good-natured smack talk flowed abundantly. “Hey Packers fan, how about that onside kick?” “Yeah, how about that goal-line pass in the Super Bowl?”

IMG_2016

On our way!

Once on the plane one of the flight attendants quietly came by and gave me a fist bump, telling me that she was a life-long Packers fan. Eric and I ended up talking sports with a mega Seahawks fan seated in front of us, a woman who was going to the game with a relative who’s a Packers fan. They had had a wager on the NFC title game, in which the loser had to buy tickets for the game in Green Bay for the two of them. Nice how sports brings us together like that! Once on the ground in Chicago, we found our hotel shuttle and made it to the Super 8 about 20 minutes later. Thanks to the kindness of the gentleman checking in after us who swapped rooms with us, Eric and I got a room with two beds instead of just one king. (Thanks for nothing, Hotwire.com.) Because of the three hour time difference we had a little trouble falling asleep. Either that or the cheap beds which weren’t exactly comfortable. I guess we got what we paid for. Eric had astutely commented on our way to our room that his wife wouldn’t have stayed in this kind of hotel. I agreed that mine wouldn’t have either. But neither of us particularly cared. $74 for a room and breakfast was pretty cheap.

Day Two, Friday-Baseball Doubleheader

Friday morning was a little overcast, as the storms from the previous night cleared off to the east. I got our rental car and we hit the road just after 9 am, headed to downtown Chicago. We had fun counting the numerous Dunkin Donuts stores along the way, although we didn’t stop.

IMG_2020

View north up Lakeshore Drive from Hancock Tower-Chicago

Eventually we made it to Lake Shore Drive and parked at the Hancock Tower ramp. We made our way to the basement of the tower to buy tickets to go to the observation floor. Several of the attendants gave me some grief for wearing my beautiful Packers shirt less than a week after the Pack had come to Soldier Field and beaten the Chicago Bears to open the season. Eric tried to join in the ribbing until the guy taking our tickets informed us he was a Patriots fan. Ouch! Those Super Bowl memories are so painful! Even though it wasn’t a super clear day, the view from near the top of the Hancock Tower was still pretty impressive. I suppose it was the short and sweet tour of Chicago from above. It was pretty cool to see all the roof top pools and lawns and gardens. After about 30-45 minutes we made our way back to the car and drove toward Wrigley Field, arriving in that neighborhood just after noon. I dropped Eric off to work his ticket-scalping magic while I parked the car. He managed to find us a pair of upper deck tickets on the first base side for $50 and we made it to our seats with 20 minutes to spare before the first pitch. It was enough time for us to get some Chicago dogs for lunch.

IMG_2091

Wrigley Field-Chicago

I know it’s upsetting to you purists, but we put ketchup on our dogs. The game was fun even though neither of us had a rooting interest. The Cards jumped ahead early and the Cubs came back and took the lead for good. We stayed through the 7th Inning Stretch and sang “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” along with (a video of) Harry Caray and the packed stadium of fans. We got back to our car and started making our way toward I-94, which would take us to Milwaukee. Of course, Chicago traffic on a Friday afternoon isn’t known for going particularly smoothly, and this was no different. We finally made it to the interstate only to find it slow down again a miles later. We passed a bunch of signs for “Golf Parking” near the Six Flags exit in Gurnee, IL. We had no idea that there was a PGA tournament there that same weekend until one of Eric’s former colleagues texted him later that afternoon. His friend had seen pictures that Eric had posted of Chicago and wanted to know if we were still in town. His buddy happens to be the caddy for a popular young player and would’ve been able to hook us up with tickets to the golf tournament if we had been able to use them. It’s probably a good thing that we didn’t know about the golf tournament until it was too late, otherwise we might have tried to fit that in our already-packed schedule.

 We arrived at MIller Park about 15 minutes before the first pitch.

IMG_2026

Miller Park-Milwaukee

It was just beginning to rain but that didn’t matter since there’s a retractable roof to keep everyone dry. We didn’t see anyone scalping tickets but found a “Goodwill” special for $12 bleacher seats right next to the bullpen in left center. Cheap is good. The game itself was pretty forgettable as the Brewers and Reds were basically fighting for the basement of the NL Central division. About the only remarkable thing was the three homers that were hit to the bullpen right next to our seats. The people-watching was pretty fun as both Santa and Elvis made an appearance in the stands and there were a lot more people wearing Seahawks gear at the ballpark than I had anticipated. We obviously were not alone in our idea of taking in a Brewers game in advance of the big Sunday night showdown. We moved around the stadium and were allowed to sit in the lower level for a couple of innings before taking off after the 7th inning. After we left the game I took Eric for a true Midwest experience. Frozen custard. The FroYo in the Pacific Northwest is nice and all, but I really miss the deliciousness of frozen custard. We decided to make the 90 minute drive to Madison that evening so we could sleep in the next morning.

Day Three, Saturday-Madison

Saturday morning was bright and beautiful. It was Badger game day. After a hearty breakfast we drove to pick up the tickets from a dear family friend who had given us a pretty sweet deal. We visited for a few minutes before heading toward downtown Madison. On the way there I drove Eric through our old neighborhood on the near west side,

IMG_2033

Abe Lincoln statue in front of Bascom Hall

the beautiful and sprawling University of Wisconsin campus and State Street. Our destination for lunch was The Old Fashioned, a well known establishment across the street from the state capitol building. Despite living in Madison for nearly 20 years of my life, I had never been to The Old Fashioned. We were heading there on the advice of Russell Wilson, the quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks and a former Badger. Eric and his kids had met Wilson during training camp in August and Eric had asked for a recommendation of some place to eat on our trip to Madison.

The

The “Wurst Platter”

Without missing a beat, Wilson’s rapid response was “The Old Fashioned”. If the star QB of your team tells you to go eat somewhere then you know you’re going to go there. We weren’t alone in our desire to eat there and had to wait 45 minutes for a table. Eric got the “wurst platter”, an artery-clogging collection of four German sausages on top of a bed of some greens. The best part of our trip downtown was the sideways glares glances Eric kept getting for wearing a Seahawks jersey. At least he was smart enough to wear the #3 of Russell Wilson, who is pretty much adored by all Badger fans for his one season in Madison.

After finishing our lunch we drove toward Camp Randall Stadium and parked in the driveway of the co-op house I lived in as a freshman.

Pre-game at Union South-Madison

Pre-game at Union South-Madison

Yeah, I helped park cars there back in the fall of 1991-92. Fun memories. We walked to Union South where we watched the first couple of songs of the UW Marching Band’s pregame performance before walking over to the stadium. The game itself was only memorable for two Badgers being ejected for “targeting”, yet the home team still won, 28-3. The UW student section is (in)famous for having a lot of fun, and I’m pretty sure they did not disappoint. They did their vulgar take on the old Miller Lite “Less Filling, Tastes Great” commercial by chanting “Eat (Poop)” and “(Firetruck) You” at each other. Eric was proud to point out that the “Wave” had started at the other UW, the University of Washington in Seattle,

Camp Randall-Madison

Camp Randall-Madison

although he had never seen it done like they did at The Camp: regular speed, super fast, slow-motion, reverse and split. I bragged to Eric that the students would also join in singing the songs that blared over the PA during time-outs, so we were entertained when the students sang heartily along with the Foundations’ classic Build Me Up (Buttercup). What was impressive was how they continued on for an additional thirty seconds or more after the music had ended. (Check out this clip from a game a couple of years ago to see/hear what it’s like.) Of course, no Badger experience is complete without the famous end of Third Quarter Jump Around, during which the entire student section (and thousands of others who don’t care how silly they look) literally become a thrashing sea of red and white jumping to the music. I find it particularly fun to see how the visiting players on the field are watching the students and joining in the fun, even though they’re on the field. We left the Stadium just after the 4th Quarter started and right before a fire-alarm went off. Apparently an oven in one of the kitchens inside the stadium overheated and triggered the alarm, which delayed the game for a few minutes. I was glad that we were already out of the stadium. Before we left Madison for good I had to take Eric to one last truly Madison place. Michael’s Frozen Custard on Monroe Street, just a mile or so from Camp Randall. It’s probably good for my waistline that I live 2000 miles away from the decadent Turtle Sundae. My mouth is watering just thinking about the delicious concoction of creamy vanilla custard, rich hot fudge and caramel topped with amazing fried and salted pecans. Ok, I’m done.

I headed the car northeast from Madison as we were destined for my hometown of Neenah, about an hour and forty five minutes away. My mom still lives there and had graciously offered to let us stay with her that evening. As was the case for the entire trip, Eric was in charge of tunes so I could concentrate on driving. Since we both had iPhones we pretty much had an endless supply of songs. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that we listened to some Justin Bieber during this trip. Eric’s excuse was that his youngest son really likes the Bieb’s music. My excuse was that I had to attend a Bieber concert in Tacoma with two of my daughters in 2012. (Eric and his family also attended that same concert.) We jammed with Taylor Swift and belted out some old-school Phil Collins and Chicago. It was fun being crazy and not having to listen to one or more kid whining about what song was playing or that it was too hot or cold or queasy. We just drove. Since we had the frozen custard after the game instead of dinner, I decided that another midwestern treasure was in order for our dinner so we met my mom at the Neenah Culver’s where I enjoyed a Deluxe Butterburger with cheese (of course!) and some crispy onion rings. Thankfully my mom lives about five minutes from there so we were able to relax at her place and digest for a bit. But our night was not yet over, as we had decided to take advantage of our guys’ weekend and go see a late movie at a local theater. Our bodies were still on West Coast time so the 10:45 pm start felt more like 8:45 pm to us. We opted for Straight Outta Compton, which, for those of you that know me in real life, is not exactly in my musical wheelhouse. Eric, on the other hand, grew up on the West Coast and knew a lot of the songs and events portrayed in this musical biopic about the rise of N.W.A. and their influence on rap and hip-hop music and culture in general in the late 1980s and beyond. It was certainly an eye-opener for this Midwestern native, yet somewhat sad in that a lot of the depicted experiences of racism and police brutality in the film felt all too familiar. At any rate, we were glad that we hadn’t taken our wives to see the movie as it wasn’t exactly a date-night kind of film. We returned to my mom’s house for our final night of sleep before returning home on Monday morning.
Day Three, Sunday-Green Bay
We woke up “early” to go to church with my mom before taking a quick tour of the sights of my hometown. Much of the older historic part of town was closed to traffic for the day because of the Fox Cities Marathon that was being run that morning.

Thanks for hosting us, Mom!

Thanks for hosting us, Mom!

After a stop at Starbuck’s (Eric is native to the PNW, after all) we returned to my mom’s house for brunch and the start of the early NFL games. We both managed to change into our game-day jerseys just in time to get a picture with my mom before heading north again. This time we were headed to Pulaski, a small town west of Green Bay by about 15 miles, where my friend Todd lives with his family. We had been invited there to spend the afternoon with them and to indulge in another fine Wisconsin tradition: grilled brats! Even though Eric and Todd had never met before in person, we all enjoyed a relaxed afternoon of conversation as if we were old college buddies seeing one another after years apart. After we finished dinner and said goodbye to Todd’s family we made the short drive to Green Bay. Destination: Lambeau Field.

We found a place to park in the driveway of my friends Keith and Karel, who live just a few blocks south of the stadium. I’ve known them since I first started going regularly to Packers games in 2005 and parked in their yard on a whim. Even though I hadn’t seen them since moving to Washington four years ago I was greeted with a hearty hug from each of them. It was here that the fourth and final member of our group met up with us: my buddy Gene, who I met back in 2005 when we moved to the area where he was living and our daughters became friends. As the four of us walked toward Lambeau, I had to keep from grinning too much from thinking about the fact that here were three really good friends of mine all in one place at the same time. How cool was that?

Behold, Lambeau. The foursome (L-R): Gene, Todd, Eric , Carl

Behold, Lambeau. The foursome (L-R): Gene, Todd, Eric, Carl

We made our way through the throngs of people outside the stadium, taking in the sights and smells (bratwurst, again!). Eric even managed to meet a Minion who seemed a little perturbed at his outfit.

Packers Minion

Packers Minion

I also ran into an old high school friend who was in the area on a business trip and was able to use his company’s luxury suite to take his parents to their very first Packers game. Once in the stadium we made our way to our seats and watched the players go through their final warm-ups before the 7:30 pm kickoff. While I’ve never been to an actual NFL playoff game, the atmosphere inside the stadium is what I would imagine it to be like. The setting sun gave way to the bright lights which made the green on the field seem that much brighter. The fans for both teams cheered as their teams entered the stadium for the national anthem, which was wonderfully performed by a former Packers player, Esera Tuaolo. Then it was game time!
IMG_2062

Lambeau Field-Green Bay

The Packers dominated the first half but only led 13-3 at halftime. There was a bit of unrest among the Packers fans and a certain degree of smugness among the Seahawks fans; like we’ve seen this before but don’t want to think about it or say anything. As such, when the Seahawks came out and scored two touchdowns in the 3rd Quarter their fans became really loud and obnoxious again. Thankfully, this time Aaron Rodgers and the rest of the Packers dominated the 4th Quarter and sent the Seahawks back West with a 27-17 loss. Despite wearing “enemy” gear into the heart of Packers territory, Eric made it through unscathed. He wasn’t alone in his assessment that Packers fans were really quite nice. Green Bay is not like Oakland, where you literally fear for your safety and well-being if you wear the opponent’s jersey to the game. Once we made it back to our cars we gave final goodbye hugs to Todd and Gene and started our drive south to Chicago. We left Green Bay at 11 pm and our flight was scheduled to leave less than 12 hours later from O’Hare.

Day Four, Monday-Travel
We stopped once for a bite to eat somewhere between Green Bay and Sheboygan. The farther south we went the more the traffic thinned out until I drove right through Milwaukee with almost no traffic at all. At some point along the way Eric drifted off to sleep in the passenger seat while I enjoyed the post-game show on the Packers radio network. At about 2:45 am we pulled into an oasis/rest stop on the north side of Chicago. After a quick bathroom break we both fell asleep in the front seats of our car. After three short hours of “sleep” I woke up and a short while later we were back on the road to return our rental car before heading home to the airport.

Welcome back to Washington!

Welcome back to Washington! This view of Mount Rainier never gets old.

Even though our flight was delayed in Chicago a little bit we made it back to Washington just fine. For some reason the flight home was a bit more subdued than the flight just a few days before. I know that gloating isn’t supposed to be celebrated, but you have no idea what it’s been like to be a die-hard Packers fan living near Seattle for the last four years as the Seahawks have risen to prominence at the expense of my beloved Packers. So, yeah, this was a pretty sweet plane ride home for me, proudly wearing my green and gold.

Now that a few weeks have passed since we had this epic guys’ weekend, I marvel that we were able to pull it off so smoothly. The long odds that all four of those teams (Cubs, Brewers, Badgers and Packers) would have home games that all lined up like that for us to attend in just three days was pretty fortunate. The fact that we were able to pull this off and pay only face value or less for any of those tickets was also pretty sweet. Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how grateful we both were to our wives for encouraging us to go on this adventure while they stayed home and took care of our kids.
February 28, 2015

Forgiveness: The other F word

If you spend any time online visiting any social media or news sites you will notice that there are a lot of people who are mad, angry and offended by just about anything. Some of the offending topics of the last few weeks that pop into my brain at the moment are, in no particular order, ISIS, politics, healthcare, unions, President Obama, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, vaccinations, circumcision, education, school lunches, gun control, gay rights, religion, abortion, sports, Grammys, Oscars, celebrity nude photo hacks, Kardashians and even The Dress. (White and gold. I know. Who cares!) And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of crazy stuff out there. But what’s even crazier to me is the amount of truly vicious and vile comments that people leave without a second thought. th-11I wonder what would happen if people lived their lives choosing to forgive instead of choosing to look for ways to be offended. Can you imagine what a difference there would be if we each lived that way?

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Sure, Carl, that sounds nice. But we’re talking ISIS. That’s pure evil. How could you possibly forgive them? You know they murdered over 20 Christians recently and just kidnapped over 250 Christians in Syria, right?” I agree. That is pure evil. Yet, Diane Foley, the mother of James Foley, an American journalist who was captured by ISIS in 2010 and beheaded last August, is calling for forgiveness of the man who is believed to have been the chief executioner for ISIS.

“So, he, in a sense, had a priviedged upbringing, so to me that makes even more sad that he’d want to use his gifts for such evil and hatred. It’s very frightening to me. We need to forgive him for not having a clue what he was doing.”

What? How is that even possible? If anyone has a right to withhold forgiveness from another person or group it would be his parents, right? Again, I agree. Wanting revenge is the natural and instinctive reaction. Yet, they are choosing to forgive this man. Wow. Again, can you imagine if we each tried to live our lives with such forgiveness? Maybe we could forgive ourselves for saying or doing something wrong.

brandon_bostick_packers

Bostick was supposed to block #13 so the guy behind Bostick could catch the ball. Instead, Bostick botched the catch and #13 recovered.

Most of us don’t have our major screw-ups happen in front of over 70,000 people plus millions on TV, but that’s exactly what happened to a football player on the Green Bay Packers named Brandon Bostick. He’s the player that many fans blamed for the Packers’ loss to the Seattle Seahawks, which cost his team a trip to the Super Bowl, all because he made a mistake near the end of the game. Bostick wrote an article recently about what his life has been like since that game took place about six weeks ago.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and it’s the first thing on my mind. There are nights when I dwell on it before falling asleep. Sometimes the thought creeps up on me when I’m lifting weights, or eating dinner, or sitting on my couch at home.

I flash back to that moment—I can see the ball floating right in front of me—and I wonder: What if?

I messed up in the NFC Championship Game, and trust me, it hurts. I’ll probably think about my role in the botched onside kick every day for the rest of my life. It haunts me like a recurring nightmare.

This guy is beating himself up over something that he did wrong. How many of us do that to ourselves? I know I do. Unfortunately, I mess up daily. I lose patience with my family. I’m not as loving or kind to my wife and kids as I could be. Sometimes I even raise my voice and yell. I say or do something, trying to be funny only to have it blow up in my face. Yet, at the end of the day, I know that I’m human and that I’m going to mess up.th-5 I love my wife and kids but I’m not perfect. So, I ask those I’ve wronged for forgiveness and I forgive myself; hoping to learn from my mistakes so that I won’t repeat them. Sometimes I’m successful in not repeating them. Sometimes. I try to point out to my kids that I’m not perfect so I don’t expect them to be perfect either. It’s just that we need to keep that as our goal so that we’re improving ourselves.

Back to forgiveness. When we choose to not forgive it wrecks relationships. I grew up with a loving yet very controlling father. As I grew into my teenage years I began to realize how much I didn’t like his type of parenting and began to resent him for it. Thankfully, I soon realized that not forgiving him (even though he hadn’t asked for it) wasn’t going to help my situation but only cause me to become angry and bitter myself. So, I forgave him in my heart and decided that I would still love him. It certainly helped when I moved away to college two hours away from my hometown. It wasn’t until almosth-7t 10 years after I graduated from high school that my father finally realized the hurt he had caused from his desire for control and asked me, his son, to forgive him. It was a tender moment when I was able to honestly tell him that I had forgiven him years before and had prayed for this day of reconciliation. We became much closer from that point forward and those last 6-7 years of his life saw him a changed man. I believe that the healing of our relationship was only made possible because we both chose to forgive. I’m so thankful that I could learn from him how to humbly seek forgiveness so that we could be so much closer over the final years of his life before he passed away in 2007. I know that it has certainly shaped my own parenting as a Stay At Home Dad, prompting me to seek and give forgiveness in order to develop and maintain a close relationship with my fantastic children, even during their crazy teenage years!

Can you imagine what the world might be like if we each chose to look for ways to be kind and to find common ground instead of choosing look for ways to be offended and angered? What if we actually dared to forgive others? When I was 10 years old, my 12 year old friend Beth was killed by a drunk driver who hit the car that Beth’s dad was driving. Even though they had to face some pretty serious emotional and physical pains of their own, Beth’s parents chose to forgive the young man who ended their daughter’s life by driving drunk. While the guy faced legal consequences and was imprisoned for a time, Beth’s dad reached out to him and regularly met with him in prison, extending him true forgiveness and love. Can you imagine doing that? I would like to think I would do the same, but I don’t know for sure.

Can you imagine how different our relationships might be if we each chose to forgive instead of holding on to the anger and hurt? I’ve heard many people talk about how a lack of forgiveness hurts you, not the person who wronged you.th-14 But what good does it do to hold on to that hurt and anger? It doesn’t help to heal the relationship. In fact, it does the opposite by creating distance until ultimately it is destroyed. It happens with co-workers, with friends, and with family. Why hang on to the control and power and lose the relationship? As someone who values relationship over control and power I tend to forgive rather than get offended or, as my teenagers call it, butthurt. Some might call me a sucker for giving people an extra chance and I suppose that is one of the risks of forgiving. You lose some of the control and make yourself vulnerable to being hurt again. But the upside is that I’m not burdened by the past. Newsflash: If you’re dealing with another human being you’re going to be disappointed and hurt at some point. I guarantee it. How you choose to respond to that disappointment and hurt is up you. The choice is yours. Choose wisely!

August 29, 2014

Fail Mary Was Called Correctly

Almost two years ago one of the most bizarre and controversial endings to a NFL game took place at CenturyLink Field in Seattle, Washington. The last game of Week 3 of the 2012 season featured a Monday Night Football showdown between the Green Bay Packers and the Seattle Seahawks. The Packers came back in the second half of the game to lead 12-7 with :08 left on the clock in the 4th quarter. Seattle had the ball, 4th & 10 from the Green Bay 24-yard line, needing a touchdown on the game’s final play to win. I was at the game with my daughter and we were among the thousands of Packers fans in attendance that evening who were loudly cheering and chanting “Go Pack, Go!” as the ball was snapped on that fateful play. Everyone in the building, player and fans alike, knew what play was going to be called and that the odds of Seattle completing a “Hail Mary” pass in that situation were very low but still, the play must be run. The day before a game had ended with a Hail Mary TD completion, so it could happen. The ball was snapped, Russell Wilson, the Seahawks QB ran away from some pressure while his receivers ran toward the end zone. From about 40 yards out Wilson tossed a beautiful spiral to the left corner of the end zone where two of his receivers and five Packers defenders were gathered. What happened next was crazy and seemed to defy logic.

My daughter and I at the Fail Mary game

My daughter and I at the Fail Mary game

Before I get too far into this post, I should disclose that I grew up in Neenah, Wisconsin, about 40 miles south of Green Bay. My parents were both Packers fans and I have been a cheesehead my whole life. Since I grew up in the 1970s and 80s I missed the glory days of the Lombardi championships that my dad told me about over and over. Nope. I got to watch Lynn Dickey get clobbered because he only ran fast when it was back to the sidelines after failing on 3rd down. For several years in the mid-80s the preseason papers declared “The Pack is Back” in vain. I had to endure 8-8 seasons and the hated Chicago Bears’ Super Bowl Shuffle and the Fridge on their way to the 1985 title. I was happy when Don “Majik Man” Majkowski became the QB, thrilled when Brett Favre led the Packers to sustained success (4th and 26 notwithstanding) and the 1996 Super Bowl title, and ecstatic when Aaron Rodgers took over and they won it all in 2010. I’m a die-hard Packers fan even though I now live deep in Seahawks country, about 40 miles south of Seattle near Tacoma, Washington. I was fortunate enough to be at that game nearly two years ago. If anything, the admission that I’m about to write should be more surprising since, as a Packers fan, I should feel like the replacement refs screwed the Packers on the last call of the game. But, I just can’t do it.

Pre-snap view of last play from my seat.

IMG_2665

Back to the game. The ball’s trajectory was perfect, heading toward Seattle’s WR, #81, Golden Tate, yet the Packers were in place to defend it. As the ball was nearing, Tate shoved the back of Packers CB, #37, Sam Shields, with two hands, forcing him to the ground. Shields would’ve been in perfect position to bat the ball down. Despite that obvious offensive pass interference (which wasn’t called; almost never would be called in a similar situation) another Packers defender, #43, M.D. Jennings, timed his leap perfectly and cradled the ball to his chest in mid-air among the other hands reaching for the ball. As Jennings fell through the air Tate reached around Jennings’s body and put his hands on the ball. Since Jennings had jumped the highest, he was also the last to come back down to the pile of players on the turf, both of his arms still cradling the ball. As the players reached the turf they continued their struggle for possession of the ball. The outcome of the game was hanging in the balance of this one decision by the referees. In case you had forgotten, the regular NFL referees had been locked out by the owners and commissioner so this was the third week of the season in which replacement refs were used. The players, coaches and fans were all upset by the poor quality of officiating since it wasn’t nearly the same quality or consistency as with the regular refs.

imgres-1

With that as context, it wasn’t shocking to see the two refs in the area give conflicting arm signals. One indicated time-out (for an interception) and the other a touchdown (for a reception). Pandemonium ensued at the game, both on the field and in the stands. The Packers players argued with the ref that it was a pick. The Seahawks players jumped around joyously at their fantastic finish. Those of us in the stands stood bewildered, not knowing what we had just seen. The head referee announced that the play would be reviewed but had been ruled a TD on the field. There was no replay shown on the JumboTrons at the game. Just an uneasy feeling among the Packers fans that they had just been robbed of a hard-earned win. The MNF telecast on ESPN showed the replay several times, with commentators Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden sharing their feelings that it was an interception. They even consulted a retired ref, Jerry Austin, who confirmed that he felt it was an interception. “This is the most bizarre sequence you’ll ever see at the end of the game” said Tirico. Added Gruden, “For the life of me I don’t know how M.D. Jennings doesn’t have credit for the interception”.

After further review the call stood and Seattle won the game. After a brief delay the meaningless extra point was kicked and the fans left the stadium in shock. We still had not seen a replay like the TV audience had. I used the bathroom on the way out and a Seahawks fan told me that he was sorry. His friend had called him to tell him what he had seen on TV. A few of my friends texted me or posted on Facebook that they thought the refs had screwed up that last call. I listened to post-game talk-radio and heard dozens of people rail on the refs for that terrible call. It was all over the internet that night and in the weeks to follow. Some people even called for the NFL commissioner to reverse the call and give the win to Green Bay. Since I live in Washington state not too far from Seattle I was able to listen to the Seattle-based sports talk radio guys the next day. Every single one of them agreed that it was an interception and that Green Bay should have won the game. One of them went so far as to say that any Seahawks fans who seriously thought it was the right call should have their heads examined. They even laughed about it on air. I guess I was sold that this was a bad call. Packers should have won the game. Case closed. Move on.

Not so fast, though. A few days later I happened to see this picture from a different angle that made me reconsider.

IMG_5701

What I saw was two players who were both fighting for the ball. Tate’s arms were not wrapped around Jennings. And guess what else? Tate has two feet on the ground with two hands on the ball. Jennings has no feet on the ground yet. And then my mind began to question what my eyes and ears had been telling me. Q: When is a player given credit for a reception? A: When he has control of the ball and two feet in bounds. Q: Who has possession of the ball first in this photo? A: Tate! I was mortified. No way. No how. I’m a Packers fan. This cannot be. While my eyes were done my brain wasn’t. Q: What is simultaneous possession? A: When two players gain control of the ball at the same time. Q: If Tate had possession of the ball first, even if partial, does that make it simultaneous? A: Yes. UGH! In the NFL, a simultaneous catch goes to the offensive player. So, in my mind, I believe that the decision to call the Fail Mary pass a touchdown was the correct call. I have shocked many Seahawks and Packers fans over the last two years with this explanation. I have yet to hear a rebuttal that isn’t based on emotions or what the guys on ESPN said during the game. If you have one, I’d love to hear it.

Before you tell me I’m an idiot (and maybe I am, but that’s not for this discussion, please) and don’t know anything about football let me share some more observations about this game with you. Since I’m a Stay At Home Dad I have the “luxury” of spending a lot of quality time cleaning the kitchen and folding the laundry, usually at night when everyone else in my family is asleep. This has afforded me the opportunity to not only obsess over think about this game too much but to also watch the game replay on www.nfl.com multiple times. I’ve come to the conclusion that the refs were horrible the entire game and made a couple of significantly awful calls that cost the Packers the victory prior to the Fail Mary play. In fact, had the calls been made properly earlier in the game, the Fail Mary play probably wouldn’t have happened. The first such play happened on Seattle’s first play right after the Packers had scored their only TD to take their first lead of the game. With 8:44 left in the 4th quarter, on 1st & 10 from their own 20, Wilson took a play-action fake and was flushed back and to his right by #93, Erich Walden. As Walden dove at him, Wilson threw the ball slightly behind his receiver, who tipped the pass up into the air, where it was snatched by as Packers player. Interception. Packers take over just outside of the red zone with a chance to put the game away. Nope. The referee decided that it was a penalty on Walden. Roughing the passer. 15 yard penalty against Green Bay. It was Seattle’s first first-down of the second half. Both Gruden and Tirico question the call, particularly because Wilson was out of the pocket and had already shown his ability to extend and create plays with his running ability.

The second play happened just two and a half minutes later, with 6:10 left in the game. After consecutive offensive holding penalties Seattle faced a seemingly insurmountable 1st & 30. Wilson tossed a pass toward his tall WR, #18, Sidney Rice, who is running a go-route down the left sideline. Only he is matched step for step by Sam Shields, Green Bay’s CB. The two of them made some contact as they ran, with Rice clearly grabbing and pushing Shields in his back while they run and then going over and through his back as the ball dropped from the sky to them. As the pass fell incomplete to the ground the referee tossed his flag at their feet. Before the call is announced, Gruden stated, “It’s on Rice. I don’t even believe they’re going to call this on Sam Shields.” So, of course, it’s on Sam Shields, defensive pass interference. A 32-yard penalty that gives Seattle the ball at the Green Bay 35. Referring to the botched calls, Tirico added, “It’s making it hard to watch every game.”

images-4

Gruden concurred, “I’m about to jump out of the press box here.” While it’s possible that Seattle could have still gotten a first down on that drive, it probably wouldn’t have happened if there had been no penalty or if it had been ruled offensive pass interference. And I won’t even go into any debate about the blatant offensive pass interference on Tate on the Fail Mary play. Both Gruden and Tirico referenced it during the final minutes of the ESPN telecast.

All in all, the game was a microcosm of what the league was experiencing with the replacement refs. Complete frustration with the poor quality and terribly inconsistent (and sometimes incorrect) enforcement of the rules. Because of the bizarre finish to the MNF game and comments made by many players, specifically those by Packers MVP QB Aaron Rodgers the day after the game, the regular refs were reinstated for the games in Week 4. Despite the poor officiating and the questionable outcome of the game, both the Packers and Seahawks made the playoffs that season. If the outcome had been reversed, the Seahawks would still have been the #6 seed in the NFC, but the Packers would have been the #2 seed and had a bye week instead of being the #3 seed. While it would be easy to blame that on the Fail Mary game, the reality is that the Packers lost several close games that season (at Indianapolis two weeks later and at Minnesota in Week 17) that would have also secured the #2 seed. The improbable come-from-behind win for the Seahawks was the first 4th quarter comeback for their rookie QB Russell Wilson and helped to boost his popularity among fans as some of them had been grumbling about the offense’s lackluster play over the first few weeks of the season. Obviously, things worked out pretty well for Seattle with Wilson as quarterback over the following 16 months. Just ask the fans of the San Francisco 49ers or Denver Broncos.

March 30, 2014

Family Fanatics

It’s past 2 am and I should’ve been asleep hours ago. Instead, I’m sitting on my sofa typing this blog, still internally wired after my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, won a thrilling game to advance to the Final Four next weekend. For those who are unaware or don’t care much about collegiate sports, this is a pretty big deal for both the team and their fans. The only other time the Wisconsin Badgers made it to the Final Four was 14 years ago. While I was fortunate enough to be living in Madison at that time and had connections that secured tickets for me to attend the Final Four with three friends it’s a bit different this time around. We no longer live in Madison, having moved almost 2,000 miles away to the state of Washington over two years ago. We now have six children, in March of 2000 we had an almost 5 year old and a 7 month old. In 2000 my wife knew I was excited about the Badgers but didn’t really care about the basketball team herself. My 5 year old also didn’t really care about sports, although she likely noticed my happy demeanor when the team surprised everyone and made their run to the Final Four. This time around, my oldest two kids are now almost 19 and 14, and neither one really cares about the Badgers basketball team. But my next two kids, ages 12 and 9, are quickly becoming my basketball buddies. Both of them have now played organized basketball for two seasons and seem to enjoy the game. It doesn’t hurt that they both were the tallest on their teams. But what’s been fun for me is to see the passion for the game begin to develop in them, just like it did in me when I was their age. I have fond memories of watching buzzer beaters and upsets in the tournament, although my team was never one of the “good” ones. So, it’s been an extra special treat to experience these games with my kids. And it’s not been limited to basketball. We’ve enjoyed many games cheering on our beloved Green Bay Packers over the years, following them to two Super Bowl wins in 1997 and 2011. While I’m still a Packers fan at heart, I’ve always liked the Seattle Seahawks second best because I was born in Washington state. So, now that we live close to Seattle I’ve been able to attend several Seahawks games and they even won the Super Bowl just last month, much to my delight and the chagrin of my kids. Interestingly enough, my 3 year old daughter now loves the Seahawks (more than the Packers!). She even requested a Seahawks hat that she proudly wears with her princess dresses. Image

So, what’s the point of me sharing this with you? It’s the shared memories that I’m making with my kids as we cheer for (or against) teams. It’s memories that I hope they will cherish as much as I do. I hope when they’re older they will fondly recall that time that Dad (me) jumped and screamed like a crazy guy when the Packers or Badgers made a big play. The memories I have of my own father watching sports on TV are not so great. He had a hard time watching the bumbling Packers of the 1980s because he grew up in the glorious Lombardi-era when the Packers were the best team in all of football. I remember him being so frustrated by the poor play that he would change the channel in the middle of the game or start shouting at the TV (like it would somehow help). While I’m passionate about my teams, I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job of not letting the disappointment of a loss bring me down too much, if at all. After all, I simply look around and see my wife and kids and realize that there’s so much that I’m thankful for that makes a win or loss by my team pale in comparison. After all, it’s just a game. Still, being a little bit crazy for a few moments while we’re watching our team in a close game is so fun. Tonight, while the game was finishing, I was feeding my 9 month old while keeping an eye on the end of the Badgers game. In the adjoining living room my son and daughter were cheering and groaning with each basket. While I didn’t know if our team would win in the end, I was excited to see that they were coming down with a severe case of March Madness! On Wisconsin!

20140330-040632.jpg