Family Events

August 23, 2014

Honesty, Always The Best Policy

I was listening to American Pie on my iPhone while driving three of my kids the final 75 miles to our home in Washington from our four day road trip to Northern California. The traffic was light and the sky was blue when out of the blue the music stopped and my phone rang. Even though I didn’t recognize the number I answered it since I already had my headphones in my ears. I’m glad I did. It was the manager of the La Quinta Inn & Suites we had stayed at the night before in Eugene, Oregon, calling to inform me that the person who had cleaned our room after we left found a blue iPod touch. He wanted to know if it belonged to us. I knew that my daughter had one like that and a quick question in her direction confirmed it. She didn’t even know that she had left it behind, thinking it was in her bag. After I told the manager it was, indeed, our device, he told me that he would get it in the mail to us later that day. I thanked him again for his call and hung up.

I glanced over at my daughter who was looking kind of sheepish, not knowing if I was going to be upset with her or lecture her. I wasn’t and I didn’t. I told her that I wasn’t at all upset with her. Accidents happen. Heck, I’d even given the room one last visual inspection before we left that morning and I hadn’t seen her forgotten iPod. There was no need for a lecture. She felt bad enough and there wasn’t anything that I needed to say. I just told her she was fortunate that the person cleaning the room was so honest. She smiled knowingly and I put my headphones back in and listened to some more tunes as we continued toward home. As I drove, I thought about how interesting it was that I was so surprised that the hotel employee had been so honest with my daughter’s iPod. After all, that device cost her several hundred dollars (she saved up for it and bought it on her own) and could have easily been sold on eBay or Craigslist for a nice “bonus” for that person who is likely making near minimum wage. But, instead, that person chose to do the right thing. No one would’ve known if he or she had pocketed that device. Instead, that person had integrity. You know, doing the right thing even when no one else is around. Seems like that’s a lost character trait these days. This particular employee, however, got it right. I believe that is a reflection on the company and the management that hired him or her.

I’m not getting any compensation from La Quinta for writing this blog post. They don’t even know that I’m a blogger or that I’m writing this. I’m not even going to make this into a formal review of the hotel, although it was nice. I got a clean room and my kids and I enjoyed the pool, hot tub and comfy beds. The hotel held up its end of the deal. Enough about that. But what really struck a chord with me was how this cleaning person had taken the iPod to the manager who then called me. My daughter learned a lesson without the pain of losing a valuable device while I was encouraged that there are still good, honest people still out there. I’m grateful for their honesty and integrity and will happily bring my family back to La Quinta Inn & Suites on future trips because of this positive experience. Ultimately, the reason I want to share this story with you is that a good report that is publicly shared on social media is the best way that I can say “THANK YOU” to the people involved whose actions ensured a “touching” reunion for my daughter and her forgotten iPod.

August 1, 2014

Hiking with my son on Mt. Rainier

Dad, can we go to Mt. Rainier on Saturday? With that simple request by my 9 year old son the empty calendar for Saturday became full. My son knows that I love to go to The Mountain and that his older sisters don’t particularly care to make the winding two hour drive from our house. In essence, he was asking to go hiking with me for the day. After getting the blessing of my wife (who would be in charge of four kids while we were gone) we looked at our hiking options. In the two and a half years that we’ve lived in Washington we have been to Mt. Rainier close to ten times, and always to the Paradise area on the south side. With this in mind, my son asked if we could hike to Camp Muir, which is the basecamp hikers use when trying to summit from Paradise. It’s a hike that takes at least 5-6 hours and requires a fair amount of skill and experience, not to mention better equipment and preparation than what we currently had. It’s also a roughly 5000′ elevation climb. So, a little disappointed, he agreed to consider less strenuous options. I suggested a combo mountain bike and hike option only to get it quickly rejected because he wanted to hike in snow. That meant we were going to have to go to either Paradise or Sunrise, the trailhead area on the north side of Mt. Rainier. 

We finally agreed on a moderate hike from Sunrise to Berkeley Park, an 11.3 mile round trip hike that should take about 6 hours to complete. We packed our backpacks with sunblock, hats, sun glasses, water bottles, cameras, food, and sweatshirts (just in case). The forecast was for sunshine and 80 degrees at Mt. Rainier. Despite not getting to sleep very early, we both woke up ready to go on our adventure and were out the door by 8:30 am. Not super early but (hopefully) early enough to beat the crowds and get a parking spot. About 45 minutes into our drive my son realized that he had forgotten to bring his backpack. I teased him that I’d only asked him to bring one thing and that he forgot it. He laughed and I told him that we’d figure it out. It wasn’t a deal breaker. He kindly offered to carry my backpack, or to take turns at the very least. 

After a pit stop about 20 minutes shy of our destination we entered the official boundary of Mt. Rainier National Park. We were getting so close. Then we stopped. A line of cars with no end in sight. I almost turned around to go to the Paradise entrance, probably at least 45 minutes away. But I didn’t. I actually relaxed and was patient. My son, C, hopped out of the van and walked ahead a little bit and returned 5 minutes later to tell me that the line was going to move faster because a second ranger station had opened to admit cars. Woo-hoo! Sure enough, a few minutes later we were on our way to Sunrise. There’s always something spectacular about driving through the curvy and tree lined roads and getting that first up-close view of The Mountain once you leave the wooded area. This was no exception. 

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Mt. Rainier as viewed from the road on the way to Sunrise.

Once we parked and used the restroom we headed to the Visitor Center. A park ranger there suggested a better route for us that was almost as long but was sure to have more snow-covered parts of the trail. My son was ecstatic. We decided to follow the trail from Sunrise to Skyscraper Peak. About 8 miles roundtrip, 4.5-5 hours of hiking, 1700′ elevation gain. Yikes. Since it was already noon I suggested that we eat lunch before embarking on our adventure. I quickly made some PB&J sandwiches that we wolfed down with some fruit and water. I found an extra backpack, hat and sunglasses for my son to borrow. Only, he refused to wear it because it was pink. So, naturally, I rocked that pink backpack. No big deal. We applied sunblock for the first of three times and took off. The first mile was somewhat crowded because it’s a popular ridge trail that’s pretty easy to follow while still yielding some wonderful views of The Mountain and the surrounding area. We saw families, older couples, obvious tourists and even a group of guys wearing dresses and brightly colored leggings with their hiking boots. My son, C, can walk faster than me so he was in the lead. He passed all of the people efficiently and soon, after about a mile, we were clear of the groups of people that had been clogging the trails. A short while later we came upon Frozen Lake, a beautiful lake that remained partially snow-covered for our visit (July 26) despite it being warm and sunny. This was our first water break. 

Frozen Lake

Frozen Lake

A few hundred feet later we came upon the first snow that we could actually touch. C was in heaven. He bounded over to the snow, ran up part of the hill, and slid down part of it in his shorts! 

Snow!

Snow!

Slip sliding away!

Slip sliding away!

We moved on after that, following the trail about another half mile, to a major trail intersection. At that point we were both pretty warm and so we took a short water break again. Once we determined our trail we were back at it. Only this time the terrain was more barren than previously. Lots of rocks and a dusty trail. Getting warmer. But, ahead, I spotted a large snow patch. So did C. So he ran ahead and I knew exactly what was in store for me. Once I got in range he started launching snowballs in my general direction. Thankfully, his aim isn’t great yet. I lobbed some back at him with equal “success”. What he didn’t notice was the lady walking from the other direction (his back was to her since he was trying to pelt me) who tossed a snowball at him. Like my wife, she had good aim and connected with her target. He whirled at her and (thankfully) barely hit her leg. We all laughed as she and her husband continued on in the opposite direction of us. After a few more minutes we arrived atop a ridge that opened into a green valley with sounds of running water and green grass and wildflowers. A stark contrast to the rocky wasteland we were leaving. After crossing two more small snow fields we made it to a small creek with some rocks next to it where we could rest a bit, reapply sunblock, and eat some of the fruit I’d packed. From what I could tell we had probably another 1.5 miles to go until we reached Skyscraper Peak. 

My boy on the path

My boy on the path

What I haven’t mentioned yet is that I have some physical issues that can make walking and running difficult at times. My right knee is arthritic, swollen and damaged, as I tore my meniscus in 2011. My left foot and ankle are also bad, filled with arthritis, swollen and weakened. My son knows this and knows that sometimes I just need to rest a bit longer than him. It also prevents me from walking as quickly as him. It’s not something that I complain too much about and I try to live my life as normally as possible and suck up the pain as best I can. Thankfully, on this hike, my physical ailments were not hindering me too much. Just before we resumed our hike three people coming back stopped by us to rest. They told us we had probably another 45 minutes to reach the peak. And that the trail was about to get a little bit more challenging with an inclined snow-covered trail section followed by a steep climb to the peak. I figured we’d be fine since the people telling me this information were older than me and appeared to be in roughly the same shape. Slightly thicker in the middle than we should be but still game for a hike. As we walked on a NPS ranger was coming toward us and stopped to talk. He noted that neither my son or I were wearing hiking boots and warned us of this extremely dangerous upcoming part of the trail that was snow-covered. We thanked him and carried on. I was wondering to myself it was going to really be that bad or if he was just being extra cautious for our benefit. About five minutes later some people coming down the path toward us made me reconsider just how really dangerous this hike was going to be. An obviously pregnant (probably 7-8 months by my guess) lady was walking with a few others. I used that as motivation. If she can haul herself and the child in her belly up this trail I can do it too. No problem. SUCK IT UP, CARL! Then, just around the bend and across the field, lay the danger zone. We looked at our options and carefully walked across. I thought of my own father, who, while hiking with my older brother and me on Mt. Rainier in 1985, was petrified to cross a similar snow-covered path on our hike. My brother and I were so bemused by his fright that we gleefully pelted him with snowballs, eliciting the hoped-for yelps to STOP IT! But, I digress. Back to the present hike. While there was certainly danger, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the ranger had made it sound and the pregnant lady had crossed it. 

Crossing the dangerous snow-covered path.

Crossing the dangerous snow-covered path.

The final 400' ascent to Skyscraper Peak

The final 400′ ascent to Skyscraper Peak

Once safely across we could see our final destination right in front of us and Mt. Rainier and Emmons Glacier behind us. The only “problem” was that it was about 400′ elevation change to get to the top of Skyscraper Peak, at 7079′ above sea level. Of course, C took off jogging while I trudged on. This apparently entertained people descending from the peak. They informed me that the smile on his face was priceless, as he as grinning from ear to ear while scampering up the steep terrain. When I was about halfway up I heard a shout of Hey Dad, I made it! Why are you taking so long? Hurry up. At least he didn’t call me old man. After what seemed like forever but was really 15-20 minutes of I think I can, I think I can, I think I can I finally made it to the peak. I summited my first “mountain”! Seriously. How cool was that? We found some rocks in the safety of a small plateau area to sit on while I rested. My heart was beating like the Energizer Bunny on steroids. I could literally feel it pulsing and slowing as I took more sips of water and at a clementine. Another hiker (who had already been there when we arrived) opened a bag of M&Ms and started eating it. I was insanely jealous of her wise decision to bring candy to reward her ascent. Although, my orange was pretty tasty. Right. Of course my boy wanted to go back down after just a couple of minutes. My response elicited laughter from the other adult hikers. I worked way too hard to get up here to leave right away. And I wasn’t even trying to be funny. After checking out the stunning view from atop the peak we took the obligatory picture and began our return trip to Sunrise.

Atop Skyscraper Peak! Elevation 7079'

Atop Skyscraper Peak! Elevation 7079′

View from Skyscraper Peak back toward Sunrise.

View from Skyscraper Peak back toward Sunrise. The snow-covered path is the smaller oval  of snow in the middle right of the picture.

I’d love to say that the return trip was a breeze. It wasn’t. It was brutal. Hot. Tired legs. Water wasn’t cool any longer. Warm water just doesn’t refresh as well. Did I mention I was tired? It was still fun to be with my boy and to talk while we hiked. He, too, was a little slower on the return trip. Maybe because I was going a tiny bit slower or because of the different direction we were going, I don’t know. For whatever reason, I noticed the wildflowers more on our return trip than before. Despite such harsh conditions and a short growing season they thrive in this environment, bringing beauty and diversity to the area. My favorites are ones that remind me of the Truffula Trees from Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax. 

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At this point we had been hiking (or resting) for over four hours. Both of us were exhausted, physically and mentally. And we still had about two more miles to go. Crossing the same small snow fields on the way back yielded no more snowball fights. C told me he was too tired to throw anything at me, which was slightly comforting. My knee was starting to protest but I gave it the silent K treatment.  We got back to Frozen Lake, which meant we had exactly one mile to go. This time, with a few clouds having moved in, Frozen Lake was even more photogenic. 

Frozen Lake

Frozen Lake

Finally, more than five hours after beginning our hike, we arrived back at our van at Sunrise. We both gulped some cold drinks from the snack bar and quietly climbed in for our drive back home. C had a contented smile on his face. As we talked in the van he expressed how proud he was of himself for doing such a big hike. I admitted that it was the longest hike I’ve ever taken in my life. He asked if we could bring Mom along next time so that she could see how beautiful it was up there. He also claimed dibs on the first shower once we got home.

 

 

July 28, 2014

Fight Like A Girl: Update on Frehley

As many of you will recall, near the end of May I shared the story of Frehley Gilmore, the daughter of my friend AJ. She has been fighting brain cancer for the last three years and her parents had just received the devastating news that the cancer was spreading and that there was nothing more that could be done for her medically. At that point they decided to make a “bucket list” with Frehley to help make as many memories in whatever time they had left with her. I’m happy to report that many items were crossed off her list. A week long trip to California in June included a visit to the San Diego Zoo, Legoland and Disneyland. She also got to meet Hank the Milwaukee Brewers dog, go to Chicago for a few days, see a show at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center, and attend Summerfest in Milwaukee. Her family even hosted a birthday bash for her on her golden birthday, July 12, that ended with a spectacular fireworks display (I wasn’t there but I saw video and photographic evidence). 

Frehley at Summerfest

Frehley at Summerfest

Unfortunately, as expected, the medical news is not so good. With AJ’s permission, I wanted to give you all an update on Frehley. He wrote this in a message to me a few days ago.

Her tumors have grown and the cancer is progressing. Though her spirit continues to fight, her body is wearing out, and her battle is nearing its end. Please pass on to your readers that we would like to thank all of the people who have been thinking kind thoughts and saying prayers for Frehley. She rests comfortably.

And here’s the latest post on the “Stay Strong Frehley Facebook Page“, composed by her mom, Lisa.

Stay Strong Frehley
July 25
I am in awe at all the love and support we are receiving, I want you all to know how much we love each and every one of you and only wish the best for all the amazing people supporting my little girl! Hugs from Frehley and her family. Frehley continues to rest peacefully and is continuing to hold on. My husband said something that makes some sense the other day. She continues to fight because that is what she has been doing for 3 years battling and fighting and we think she just doesn’t know how to stop fighting. I just want her to be at peace and know that it is ok to stop fighting and continue to bring her spunk and wittiness to heaven and always show us that we know she will be ok with spreading her wings and bringing us rays of sunshine!
 
Take a moment to reread what her mom and dad wrote. About their twelve year old daughter. But, look deeper. Look at the courage they’re showing in how they’re dealing with this. To the very end both of them are focusing on the peace and well being of their daughter while looking at how she’s going to spread her wings in heaven. Please, if you’re of the praying persuasion, please keep this family in your prayers. Now and in the weeks and months to come. Frehley, you are loved by many who will never meet you. God bless you, sweet girl, as you prepare to make your final journey…to heaven. You will be missed but not forgotten. 
Frozen Lake at Mt. Rainier National Park

Frozen Lake at Mt. Rainier National Park

PS-I made this sign and took it with me on a hike at Mt. Rainier with my son on Saturday. The mountain is a sacred and spiritual place for me. I could think of no better way to honor the inspiration that I’ve drawn from Frehley’s courageous fight than to bring her message to the mountain. Stay Strong, Frehley.

June 8, 2014

Five Days in June

At 7:29 am, on June 5, 2013, our sixth child entered this world and officially became a part of our family. Five days later, almost to the minute, our oldest moved out. What happened in between was a flurry of emotions and pomp and circumstance. Literally. That fifth day in June, a Wednesday, was our oldest daughter’s last day of school at Stadium High. She was excited to be finishing this chapter of her life even though she didn’t have definite plans for her future. But before her final day could even begin my wife began having contractions at 4:30 am. She woke me at about 5:00 to inform me of the immediate change of our plans for that day…and if I wanted a shower NOW was the time to take it. After getting dressed I helped her pack the bag for the hospital, alerted my sleeping mom (who had just arrived the previous day from Wisconsin) and escorted my wife to the car for the drive to the hospital. That drive to the hospital was supposed to take about 12 minutes. It took us closer to 30 minutes because I had to pull over every 2-4 minutes so she could get out of the car and endure the next set of contractions. I’m pretty sure her shrieking really freaked out some guy sitting quietly at a bus stop about 20 feet away during one of the stops. Being a doctor herself, my wife didn’t want to go through the “normal” route to Labor & Delivery, instead choosing to park in the doctor’s lot and walk through the basement to the elevators. Several contractions and concerned looks from hospital employees later we found ourselves at the L&D desk. After a few minutes in the waiting room, where we shrieked out another family, we finally got roomed. Baby J didn’t wait very long to make her appearance once we were settled there. In fact, the doctor on call barely made it back to the room to catch her. Even though I’d been blessed to be a part of five other deliveries, I teared up when she was born and thanked God for the health of mother and child. There is something truly beautiful and miraculous about childbirth. Amazingly enough, this was the first and only delivery in which it was only the two of us in the room with our new baby (and medical team, of course). For each of the other five births we had a gallery of family and friends in the delivery room with us. Pretty sure one of them was standing room only. So, there was something particularly tender about sharing this moment with just my wife and our new baby daughter.

Baby J only a few minutes old.

After a few minutes of gazing at this new child, I called home to tell the good news of Baby J’s arrival. I texted a picture of her and our almost three year old was rather unimpressed with the “cheese” on her new baby sister. We assured her that it would wash off and that made her feel a little bit better. The rest of the morning was spent resting in the room, recovering from the early start and the physical exertion of shoving out delivering a 10 pound baby! After lunch, my oldest (remember, she was at school) texted me, wondering if I was going to pick her up at 2:15 as usual. Since her school was visible from the hospital, I told her that I could drive the few blocks to get her but that she’d have to come back with me to the room. She was excited to meet her baby sister and pleased with the knowledge that she would be the first sibling to make her acquaintance. Her friend Blanca wasn’t too upset to be along for the meet and greet. By about 4 pm we had been given the clearance to go home, so we slowly made our way back down to the car and packed our baby in for the much shorter ride home.

Bringing Baby J home to meet the excited family.

We were greeted at home by four extremely excited siblings and two equally excited grandmothers. It was certainly fortuitous timing that they both arrived (one from Wisconsin and one from Florida) the previous day in advance of my oldest daughter’s Saturday graduation. It’s mostly a blur for me, but I know that we ate an early dinner before departing for my daughter’s softball game about an hour later. It was kind of odd to be watching her play not even 12 hours after watching my baby make her grand entrance. I’m pretty sure I slept well that first night. Thursday and Friday passed without major events. In order to give my wife and baby quiet time together, I took my toddler and our visitors out for much of each day to see some of the local sights. I felt a little bit guilty, that somehow I was neglecting my duties as a SAHD, but my wife assured me that peace and quiet were much appreciated so that she could nurse and nap, uninterrupted. I guess the biggest event was the gradation dress rehearsal for my oldest at the Tacoma Dome. We were spoiled by the presence of both grandmas, who took over cooking, cleaning and childcare while they were visiting. That allowed us to focus on bonding with our new baby. I believe I bonded with her a few times in the form of her napping on my chest while I napped on the sofa. Even now, she’s still Daddy’s girl. Don’t tell my wife.

Saturday was sunny and warm, perfect weather for an indoor graduation ceremony. We arrived at the venue all dressed up and ready to cheer on our graduate. After finding 10 seats together (no small task) we sat down, unprepared for the emotions that were about to seize us. It was quite surreal for me to watch my oldest walking with her friend into the arena while holding my three day old baby almost literally in the palm of my hand.

The graduate holding her baby sister

The graduate holding her baby sister

It was like two worlds colliding. Both filled with so much hope and excitement yet at such different places in life. At some point during the ceremony I made eye contact with my wife and noticed that she, like me, was quite teary. For me, it was a combination of relief and pride and hope. Relief that our daughter had graduated. It’s no secret that her math class (which was needed for graduation) was a major challenge that wasn’t fully resolved until a few days before graduation. And pride. Pride knowing that our daughter had made it this far and pride in successfully raising and guiding a smart, secure and talented young lady to this point in her life. And hope. Hope for her future, as uncertain as it was a year ago. Hope and a belief that she would successfully find her own way in life. After the graduation ceremony we took lots of pictures and then went out for dinner at our favorite local Mexican restaurant to celebrate our daughter’s accomplishment.

Since both grandmothers were in Washington at the same time and our oldest daughter was still “home”, we were allowed a special baby dedication ceremony at our church on Sunday morning. It was a special opportunity for our church family to meet our tiny bundle of joy and rejoice with us. After church was over we said our goodbyes to Florida Grandma and her husband and returned home for more rest and relaxation for mom and baby. I took my mom (Wisconsin Grandma) and three of our kids to Northwest Trek wildlife park. We had a great time learning about and observing the many animals. Perhaps the highlight of the visit was my almost three year old losing her Croc shoe in the water of the bobcat exhibit. It was retrieved for us by a park ranger and returned with the warning, “This should be sterilized before anyone touches it.” But, I digress. While we were at NW Trek, our graduate was busily gathering her belongings and packing what she was taking with her in some large canvas duffel bags. Her plane was scheduled to leave the next morning. It was getting real. My oldest was moving out. There was no stopping her. No last minute change of heart. I don’t even remember what her “last supper” was but I do know that we finished off that evening with s’mores over the campfire in the backyard fire pit.

We hit the road relatively early on Monday morning to get my oldest daughter and Wisconsin Grandma to SeaTac Airport on time. I was determined to not lose it until she left. I almost made it. As I was unloading the last of her bags on to the curb I could feel the tears start to build. We posed for a couple last pictures together before she headed into her future.

So long. Farewell.

So long. Farewell.

It was not lost on me that I dropped her off at almost the exact same time that her baby sister had been born five days earlier. As I pulled away from the curb my emotions washed over me like a wave crashing on the shore. I pulled off at the end of the drop off area and cried. Just. Cried. Through the tears I had the presence to thank God for allowing me to be her Daddy for those first 18 years. And now, with her leaving the safety of our home, I was releasing her into God’s care. While I know that she’ll always be my little girl and that I’ll always be her daddy, there was such a fierce emotion that was released when the finality of her life at home came to be a reality. After a few minutes I had gained my composure enough to drive home where I held my baby and kissed her head.