I’m a Christian and I love gay people.

My name is Carl. I am a Christian. And I love gay people.

gay-marriage-imageIt’s been almost 48 hours since the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that bans on gay marriage were unconstitutional. Unless you live under a rock you’ve heard the news and have been able to read all about it. If you’re like me you have many friends who changed their profile pictures on Facebook to show that they’re celebrating this victory. I also have friends who are angry and upset by this ruling. This post isn’t about trying to convince anyone about gay marriage or the constitutionality of it in the United States. If you’re looking to pick a fight about either of those topics it’s not going to happen here. (I will delete offensive comments should anyone leave one here.) 1425699888986This post is a reaction and response to the many articles that I’ve read over the last couple of days which were authored by people who identify themselves as Christians and are against gay marriage. As a Stay At Home Dad I’ve been able to have some great conversations with my two teenage daughters about this topic as they’ve matured and begun to understand the complexity of this issue.

First of all, let me state that I am a Christian. I don’t hide that fact. I’ve been a follower of Christ since I was able to make that decision for myself as a 5 or 6 year old child. It’s an integral part of who I am. I am not ashamed of it nor do I blast it in others’ faces. I am not the “Christian right” or the 700 Club/Pat Robertson or Duck Dynasty or the Duggars. I am me. There are many times that I have been saddened by the actions of people who identify themselves as Christians because it seems as though their actions are not very Christ-like. While I cannot know their hearts I can see what kind of an impact their actions are having on their witnesses. As a father, I am acutely aware of how my actions must match my words when I’m interacting with my children as my actions speak so much louder than my words. This holds true for all of us, whether we identify as a Christian or not. My word or my reputation is only good if my actions back it up. If I claim to be a Christ follower then I should speak and act like one, right?

This is where I have a huge issue with the “Christian” responses to the SCOTUS decision that I’ve read the last few days. There seems to be a lot of energy and effort being put into fighting for the sanctity of marriage as one man and one woman. I’m reading about how the Bible condemns all gays because of this verse or that verse in the Old and New Testaments. Gay marriage is an abomination. Gays are going to hell. I’m in tears reading this judgemental garbage and hatespeak disguised as speaking the truth in love. Seriously. The Christian right LOVES to tell others just how right they are while missing a pretty big point. Their message is being lost because the very people they’re judging don’t care about what the Bible says. Moreover, the tone of the message is not one of compassion or love. It’s one of condemnation, judgement and condescension. I don’t know about you, but I don’t usually like being on either end of such conversations. I feel like we as Christians have a great opportunity to show love to others here instead of hate and judgement. Christians love to throw around Bible verses to prove their points about the evils of homosexuality but seem to overlook the numerous verses that instruct us to not judge others and to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs…get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice…be kind and compassionate to one another” (Ephesians 4:29-32)

WHOA! What? Where is the instruction to judge and tell others that they’re going to hell because of their sexual orientation? As a dad, husband, and man, I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that as a Christ follower, the person that I follow and try to be like, in both my words and my actions, is Jesus, my role model. When the religious rulers of his time tried to trick him by asking him what was the greatest commandment, his response was twofold. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-40) It’s worth noting that there was nothing in his response about judging others. It was about loving God and loving others. In fact, Jesus had already spoken at length with his followers about NOT judging others because we are all guilty of sin and it’s hypocritical to point out the sin in others when we’re full of it ourselves.

That’s my second big beef with the “Christian” response to the SCOTUS ruling. Why or how does this ruling really affect the sin that is rampant within the church today? While Christians are busy judging others they’re overlooking the fact that there is a lot of sin happening that they’re not protesting. I could list all of the sins that the Bible talks about but that’s not the point. If Christians put just a fraction of the energy and efforts being expended now into an inward look they would see that there is a huge problem within the church community in areas like gossip, divorce, pornography, adultery, vulgarity, gluttony, lying, cheating, stealing and so on. The fact is that we’re all sinners. God doesn’t look at sins on a weighted scale. Sin is sin is sin. But we Christians love to look down our noses at others and smugly think to ourselves “I’m not as bad as him. I didn’t cheat on my wife.” Yet, how guilty would we be if our internet history or Netflix queues were made public? I have a hard time trying to tell others that they’re terrible people just because their sin is different than mine. We’re all sinners. And, as a Christian, I believe that Jesus died on the cross for all of us. We need to get over ourselves and thank God for his grace and mercy instead of judging others.

Finally, I love gay people. I love gay people because I believe that God made all people in His image and therefore they deserve my love. I’m no better than anyone else. I might be different and I might sin differently, but that’s not the point. I don’t have to agree with someone’s politics or beliefs to be kind and compassionate to that person. In fact, showing kindness and compassion to people who are unlike me is a way to put my faith into action. What good is my faith in God if it doesn’t influence how I behave 24/7/365? It’s not just a thing I do on Sunday morning from 10:00-11:15 am. My wife has an aunt who is gay. I’ve been married to my wife for over 22 years now and I can say that Aunt Eileen is one of the kindest and most compassionate people that I know.

Promise Keepers "Stand In The Gap" Rally, 10/4/1997

Promise Keepers “Stand In The Gap” Rally, 10/4/1997

She is generous with her time and money and love. When she lived near Washington, D.C., she allowed me (and 3-4 friends) to crash at her place in Maryland before and after we attended an evangelical rally on the Capitol Mall in October of 1997. Even though our beliefs were not exactly the same she and her partner chose to open their home to us, feed us and even bought Metro tickets for us before we arrived to make our travels easier the next day. I wonder how many Christians would lovingly open their houses up for a relative (and guests) who wanted to attend a GAY PRIDE event in a nearby city? Oh, she even socialized with us after we returned from the event, grilled some steaks for dinner and made sure we could watch ESPN. Yet, somehow, she managed to not lecture us about how our beliefs were wrong because they were different than hers. It’s really not that hard to treat other people with love and kindness and compassion.

In conclusion, as I’ve discussed this with my daughters and written about here, I’m disgusted with the very un-Christlike judgement and hate being spewed by people who call themselves Christians upon hearing of the SCOTUS decision about gay marriage. I’m sure that the enemy (Satan, not supporters of gay marriage) loves to see such divisive and angry comments being posted in social media sites all over the web. I don’t see how this ruling affects my calling to love God and love others in any way. My faith isn’t in the United States government or its ability to decide about gay marriage. My faith is, and always has been, in God. His grace and forgiveness grant my salvation and it’s more than enough for me. I know that I’m not perfect and yet I hope that others will know me as a man, husband, father and follower of Christ for the person that I am by my “fruits” of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. (Galations 5:22-23)

****I would love to hear your thoughts about what I’ve written here. This is certainly a departure from my “normal” blog posts but it’s something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for a while, even before the SCOTUS ruling. Please keep your comments positive and constructive. If you liked this please share it with others. Thanks, Carl****

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59 thoughts on “I’m a Christian and I love gay people.

  1. God loves all of us and one is not better than the other. We ALL sin. We All need Jesus!

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    • I love most of this…but I take issue with your comment about “The very people they’re judging don’t card about what the Bible says…” That is so untrue. Many gay people love the Lord Jesus. It hurts them badly to have people assume you can’t be gay and Christian.

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      • That is also one of the issues I have. Just because I am gay does not mean I am not a Christian. I go to church and am now taking my infant son because I truly believe we all need Christ and his love. I am happy to belong to a church that teaches love and embraces anyone regardless of their sin because we all need that love. I hope my son grows to be compassionate to all no matter who they are or what they believe. I try and model this as well. It has saddened me to read the hate speeches on both sides of this argument. Thank you for this blog. I enjoyed reading it and feeling love and not hate.

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    • I have gay friends. I have married into a family with gay relatives. People are not born gay. This is a proven fact. Being gay should be a private matter, not one that has been made so public and in-your-face. That being said, and knowing we’re all sinners, is it OK to sin again and again and again, committing the same “abominable” sin, purposefully going against God’s word, then, at the end of the day say, “oops, sorry, God, forgive me,” and all is supposed to be forgiven? NO: We are supposed to love our neighbors as we love ourselves; we are supposed to let those who continually chose the wrong path know they’re on the wrong path. THAT is what we’re supposed to be doing. Not say, “Oh, it’s OK because we’re all sinners.” Would you have a murderer commit murder every day if they just said, “oops, my bad, but its OK because God forgives and you’re not supposed to judge me” (HEY, don’t tell me it’s not the same: Sin is sin in God’s eyes!!). Here is something to truly ponder: Every civilization whose society turns to homosexuality has been wiped out by the Hand of God. Do your homework. Sin is sin, whether you’re lying or stealing or murdering or being a homosexual, and everyone is a sinner — the difference is, whether or not one chooses to live a clean life or continues to live in sin. Homosexuals choose to continue to live in sin: this is wrong in God’s eyes, and we, as Christians ARE supposed to admonish our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in an effort to put them back on that small straight path to His kingdom.

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      • Do you know any gay people? It is not a choice just like your hair color is not a choice. It is as integral to who they are as their DNA. The point about sinning over and over could be valid except we all do it. To say you don’t continually sin is to lie to yourself. As a human we are all sinners and we all sin repeatedly. Jesus didn’t die for ONE sin committed once. He died for ALL sin in people who love and follow him. It doesn’t matter if I commit a sin once or twice. Christians who are judgemental and so steadfast in something that is,at the essence of Christianity, a non issue have caused many people to turn away from the church. I left a church that treated me this way and found one that loves and accepts me warts, repeated sins, and all.

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      • That’s exactly what divorced people do…GOD hates divorce…And when you remarry you become an adulterer…GOD also doesn’t like that…So they sin daily as well…

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      • I would love to know what studies you’ve read or taken part in that prove that you are not born gay. Please feel free to name any of these scientific, fact driven studies that can ‘prove’ this.

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  2. Thank you for sharing some of the most heartfelt words I’ve ever seen. Your heart understands what needs to be done and you’re living it. In Judaism it’s the concept of Tikun Olam – perfecting the world.

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  3. Thank you for posting such kind words. I am not a religious person but your message is what I believe and wish all others did as well. We should just try to be good people all around and the world could be a better place.

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  4. I am a Person who has Jewish parents and who, as an adult, is atheist. But thank you so much for speaking from the heart and words everyone should read. Your daughters should be very proud of you.

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  5. I am a Christian…no other words like ‘right’, ‘left’ or ‘moderate’ are necessary. I’m simply a Christian…this word needs no others as it stands strong and firm all on its own. I like for things to be simple…just as faith should be simple. Because of Jesus, I have the opportunity one day to stand in the presence of God. But, while here on Earth, I need to live according to His plan- a part of which is to follow His command that we are to love one another as He has loved us. Period. A simple command though it may indeed sometimes be hard to abide by. It is during the tough times that I give my worries and states of confusion to Him because I trust Him. I am a sinner who is deeply thankful for the Amazing Grace provided for me.

    So, let’s encourage BOTH ‘sides’ of the proverbial fence to send a little love over to the other side. I will give love most certainly to my brothers and sisters of this world. And, I will remain open to receiving some back as well.

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  6. Beautiful sentiment. Thank you. Because your words are not angry, salacious and enciting, they will probably not be shared as much as they should. As a Christian, I feel many of us are missing a huge opportunity to be like Jesus here. He was a genuine friend to those whom the religious despised. If I were a betting woman I’d bet He is more upset over the Christian reaction to SCOTUS than the ruling itself.

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  7. Thank you for the kindness. Christians should remember to love and not disparage God’s creations.

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  8. Thank you, my brother in Christ, for saying what so many of us think.

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  9. Sorry, but you missed the point completely! First of all, the majority of posts that have been put on Facebook have been very appropriate and Christ like. Of course there have a few (very few) ‘hate’ comments and posts, but the overwhelming posts have been worded in a manner that does reflect God’s heart toward the gay community, but is against the legalization of gay marriage which now makes it illegal for pastors to refuse marrying a gay couple. It’s sad but the posts that get the attention of people like you are the 1% of the negative/hate posts. Secondly, most of the posts (negative and positive) were not directed to gays in particular, but the fact that the Supreme court has now legalized and sanctioned something that is in direct conflict with Christian values. For the first time in the US we will be required to embrace and support something that is in direct violation to God’s law. It would be the same thing if Supreme court passed a law legalizing pedophilia marriage (which is the next thing coming). Should Christians simply not post anything negative or in opposition to that because we ‘love’ pedophiles? I think the anger is not towards gays, but towards the fact that we as Christians are now require to bow down to sinful lifestyle with no protection from the law if we refuse to do so.

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    • And yet we are not a Nation that is a christian nation, nor will we ever be.
      “I think the anger is not towards gays, but towards the fact that we as Christians are now require to bow down to sinful lifestyle with no protection from the law if we refuse to do so.”
      How are you “bowing” down to a sinful lifestyle? Are you being forced to sleep with another of your own sex? Christians does not have a monopoly on marriage,christianity did not invent marriage, and most important of all, MAKING others OBEY laws that are letting the *minority feel secure within their beliefs is outrageous, last time i checked this nation was a democracy. The majority rules that “gay marriage” is now just “Marriage”.
      * 57% of Americans are ok with Marriage between the same sex, as opposed to the 33% that are not.

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      • In MN, if you didn’t vote, it counted as a YES for gay marriage. That is how it is included in your warped statistic (and I’m not even sure how it’s legal). Wait a few years and you’ll see how you, as a Christian will be forced to bow down. Better yet, read Danial and The Revelations because it’s all in there, already predicted. Christians will become outcasts, ostracized for our beliefs, and in the near future, martyred for them, too, here in America, just as we are in other countries as I type this now. By the way, this nation WAS founded as a Christian nation, and that whole, ‘separation of church and state’ thing isn’t anywhere in the US Constitution; it was taken out of context the supreme court. Do your homework and read your history. Better yet, read the 1st and 10th Amendments. Thomas Jefferson was mis-quoted and the ACLU ran with it (along with the media). That is all.

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      • major — our children … what they are seeing & learning (CONFUSION).
        so many moms doing it alone already (their children without their fathers).
        best for children to have a mother & father — male & female.
        tearing the family apart is what satan is all for.
        God’s law is still God’s.

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      • If God (or “Christianity”) did not invent marriage, who exactly did? Just curious…

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    • You have this right, althought I have co-workers and friends who live this lifestyle, and I love them. i do not condone their lifestyle. Your comment covers the reall problem.

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    • I’m sorry to report this, but pastors are not required to perform same-sex marriages any more than they are required to perform marriages between two races (when this lie came up before it was about mixing the races). They aren’t even required to marry people who belong to their church if they elect not to. Church weddings are not a legal issue and the law is totally out of that. Only state operated courthouses are required to allow any two adults to marry. A few objected when race was an issue and there will be objections again, but it’s a secular court and that’s the way it should be.

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      • I do believe the next step is that churches will be required to not discriminate. Which I think is wrong. Churches should be able to have their own rules and not be forced by the government to do it. There are lawsuits against some churches and cakemakers for not wanting to do gay weddings. And they were fined and will eventually run out of money. Go somewhere to get your cake and
        wedding from someone who will do it instead of suing? Secondly, we all sin, but I feel forcing acceptance of what I believe is a sin is against my beliefs. If a person sins by stealing over and over, I would try help them change but if they don’t, I would not associate with them. This “in your face I’m gay and you have to accept it”..no I don’t. You may or may not have been born this way but just because you’re a nice person, I don’t think you should be accepted to sin. Yes some say they were born that way. We were all born into it, but I fight it.

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    • My thoughts exactly.

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    • I agree with you gsv6701.

      I am a Christian and I love Gay people too but I cannot keep quiet about the fact that the Supreme Court is going against God’s word and using their authority to make it legal for people to eat sand. I will not allow my child to eat sand or play with a Scorpion if I know it will hurt him even if he begs and cries all day long because I love him and I know it will kill him in the end.
      This is exactly what the Supreme Court did by legalizing gay marriage. It will eventually kill the gay people who they are supposed to protect. – and they are supposed to be doing it in the name of equality? Why do you think AIDS- a disease common to gay people came up?

      Real love protects and stops people from hurting themselves. It is not about being quiet when it’s time to speak up. I am for speaking the truth in love. Jesus himself spoke the truth with grace although it hurt. His being vocal got the ire of the Pharisees which eventually led to his crucifixion and death on the cross. Jesus was loving but He too spoke the truth with boldness especially to the leaders (Pharisees) who as He said are the blind leading the blind. Leaders who are given the responsibility to lead people for their good and not lead them to a path of destruction.
      Most of the Christian posts I’ve seen are more concerned about the Supreme Court decision allowing gay marriage because it goes against God’s design for marriage ( whatever your religion is – it was God who initiated Marriage). They were never about hate for the gay people. Most of them were speaking up out of their love for God and for their love for the gay people.

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    • OH I think you hit it on the nose.
      I too am a Christian. I show the love of Christ to EVERYONE…no matter gender…religion…sinners….all of us because we ALL fall short everyday…Lord knows I’m not perfect…saying that tho I do strive to be like Christ Jesus. I grew up in Hawaii with many many many gays transgender ( male to female) friends…I babysit for a male couple…love them to death.. BUT the fact is that God’s word is God’s word….NOT MY WORDS…GODS and you can’t deny what God is commanding or saying….I know for a fact.speaking for myself.that I’m I. no way judging BECAUSE I don’t want to be judged by man nor God..I know what he says DON’T JUDGE LEST YOU BE JUDGED…and Lord knows I have a lot I could be judged on….i love EVERYONE right where their at in their lives…the rest is between them and their maker…BUT what I love about my gay friends is that they know who I serve…what my goal is….and they
      Know I Will NOT compromise my beliefs….they respect me and I respect them and we just love each other…I have been invited to friends gay weddings and what I love about my friends is that they respect and love me just as I am because when they hand me the invited say WE KNOW YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO ATTEND BUTS STILL WANTED TO GIVE YOU AN INVITE DIDN’T WANT TOO HURT YOUR FEELINGS…we give each other a big old hug and say thanks and see you soon and continue inn loving each other….why is that so hard? To show the love of Christ and accept people right where they are and leave the rest to them and God…so SIMPLE….as least for me is….. And those that JUDGE and use the name off God..ex…shooting Dr’s who perform abortions…that was a big one for awhile….giving Christians a terrible name….I felt it was my duty to let people Know THAT IS NOT IF GOD AND DO NOT ASSOCIATE ME OUR CHRIST JESUS WITH THAT BEHAVIOR…..anyways I hope EVERYONE gets what I’m trying to say….God bless and keep you Amen

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    • I’m sorry GSV, but your understanding of the ruling is completely inaccurate. It has nothing to do with pastors marrying gay couples. But rather it deals with the ability of the government to deny individuals a marriage license based on their sexual orientation. Further, you should read the 1st Amendment to the Constitution which outlines that there is no law respecting an establishment of religion, nor prohibiting the free exercise of religion. We are not a Christian nation. We are a nation with a majority of people who identify as Christians. It is not the same thing. And this is most definitely not the first time that there has been a ruling in direct conflict with Christian ideology. The Roe v. Wade decision comes to mind, among others. This decision has nothing to do with Christians and their values. Not everyone shares Christian values. It’s like not liking steak and denying everyone else the right to eat steak because it goes against your values. We don’t all share the same values. And if we Christians continue to make false and ignorant comments regarding this ruling and continue to “judge in love,” then we’re not going to be adding any new Christians to our fold. By the way, the judging in love was directed at other believers, not non-believers. Christians were commanded by Christ to love. Period. So let’s do that and stop making Satan thrilled with all of the hate and division. I’m a Christian and a lawyer and encourage you to reexamine the ruling and what it actually means.

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      • Patty, you need to RE-READ the Constitution, dear, because you’re a bit inaccurate. America was founded on Jesus. That is the whole reason the boats left and came to the new land. You also really misquoted The first Amendment, thereby changing the whole thing. It actually states: The United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.

        I encourage you to read your history, I mean, you’re saying your a lawyer and you just bit that other person’s head off wrongly…. There is an especially good article written some years ago called, ” The Myth Behind the Separation of Church and State”. http://www.lc.org/resources/myth_of_separation_church_state.html

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    • You are absolutely 100 percent incorrect. All this ruling did was allow gay couples to get married at the courthouse. That’s it. The sky is not falling. No pastors will be required to marry anyone they don’t want to, just as they currently do not have to marry divorced, non Christians or those who are not baptized. Don’t be a fear monger.

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      • major — our children … what they are seeing & learning (CONFUSION).
        so many moms doing it alone already (their children without their fathers).
        best for children to have a mother & father — male & female.
        tearing the family apart is what satan is all for.
        God’s law is still God’s.

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      • Leah Olson – My “wording” was directly from the U.S. Constitution. There was no misquotation. America was not founded on Jesus, but rather, it was established on the basis of religion freedom. If you’re going to address commenters with pretension, condescension, and derision, then at least be knowledgable in the subject in which you’re attempting to “school” an individual. I looked at your recommended reading and read it, but I prefer to get news from a variety of sources, the least of which is LU. I’m sure you understand the issues with quoting an article from LC.org. My recommended reading is: http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights_transcript.html#text. This is just the Bill of Rights, but the entire Constitution is a must read and a sight to see in person.

        I was going to continue my response but just read your other comments and realized you’re doing nothing more than baiting people to respond to your false information and fear mongering. But I at least wanted to pass along the Constitution. You should read it. Blessings and prayers.

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    • There are a couple of problems with your post. 1. Sin is sin in the eyes of the Lord. No one sin is worse than another. It all results in separation from God. There is a lot of sin in this world and this nation in particular. There is no reason to target this one sin as forcefully and as hatefully as many of my brothers and sisters have done. How much more productive would we be if we focused on spreading the Gospel rather than castigating people who sin differently than us. 2. This is not the only state approved sin. Abortion, divorce, adultery, envy, church splits over petty and stupid disagreements and lets not forget that greed and selfishness run rampant and no efforts are made to check them. All of these are legal in the US. My favorite Christian entertainer once made the comment that gluttony is not a sin that is preached against in too many pulpits today. Targeting one group for condemnation when there are so very many to choose from only alienates that group and makes them less likely to seek the Jesus that we claim to serve. I wonder what would happen if every Christian were to take up the theme of Salvation as vocally and passionately as many do condemning homosexuality. We might actually see revival in this great nation and in our churches. Maybe if we concentrated on salvation, we would see a decrease in all sins. Maybe we would create converts instead of controversy.

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    • Where do I even start? First of all, this law does not require anyone to be involved in a such a marriage (other than law officials who process the paperwork). This is about the legal side of the issue. If a gay couple have a supporter (be it a justice of the peace or even a religious leader who WANTS to perform the ceremony) who does so of their own free will…who is anyone else to tell a voluntary party they must follow your “rules”? They too are legally guaranteed their freedom of religion/from persecution. HELLO, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

      Pedopilia is an entirely different issue. Marriage of CONSENTING ADULTS us the issue addressed by this ruling. Children are not able to consent to such. Therefore are barred from marriage AT ALL. Would it be ok for two heterosexual 14 yr olds to marry and have sex?

      NO ONE is asked bow down to ANYONE…just as no one should be forced to bow to YOUR religious values against their will. I think the lord would support this…especially knowing that faith is a CHOICE.

      Read the ruling…with a mind ONLY to the text itself…Christianity is mentioned NO WHERE THEREIN!

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  10. I’m inclined to align with gsv6701…I’m a Christ follower content to love others and not be ruffled by their choices. I haven’t spewed hate speech or damned anyone to hell. I am part of a family who have gay members that I love beyond words and nothing will change that. I, however, choose to not support their choice because doing so conflicts with my belief as a Christian. I pray that they have always seen my words and actions as loving, but nevertheless conflict exists because neither of us choose to waiver on our belief. I don’t expect them to, but feel they expect me to. Do I sin? Every day. Do I seek His grace and mercy? Every day. Anyone that refuses to recognize the threat to Christian liberties and beliefs is aligning themselves with a watered down Christianity. I can love you all day long and would lay down my life for my family, but will continue to happily live my life according to His Word.

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  11. I am not nor do I ever label people for their lifestyles. But I have been labeled as a bigot for not agreeing with certain practices and lifestyles as a Christian. Most of the labeling has come from the gay community. I have never turned you away from my home, my church, or refused to help you in any way. But because I don’t agree with you….you label me.

    Exactly who is being bias and discrimatory? It’s not from me, my church family, or in my home. You will know where I stand because I will tell you. But I won’t slander yoy, make fun of you, or call you anything. Don’t I have that right?

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  12. I fail to see how people can and will justify their walk with God being the reason they can speak harshly about any walk of life. As if your salvation is at stake if you don’t let the world know what you think is sin. Judgment doesn’t lead anyone to Jesus and He has asked us to be fishers of men not judge men. I prayed for several years for a drug user friend of mine to be saved. It was 12 years before she accepted Jesus and it is a powerful story. She told me with tears in her eyes how Jesus through me showed her he loved her right where she was. She didn’t feel she had to “clean up her act” before He would save her. She said she felt my salvation made me a better friend and that showed her the true heart of Jesus. What would my actions have showed her about Jesus if I judged her instead of loved her?

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  13. Hi Carl! I appreciate the content of this post. It really helped me. I shared it in my timeline.

    I have a question. Based on the post, it looks like you love your Eileen (your wife’s aunt). She is a good person. My question is, since you love Eileen, were you able to share the gospel to her? Were she able to receive Jesus in her heart? I assume that you love her and so you want her to go to heaven with the Lover of her soul, instead of going to hell. We know that our “innate goodness” and good works are but rags in God’s presence. Jesus is the one that can give her salvation if she wants it.

    I just wanted to check with you. I hope you don’t mind my question. I myself have some relatives that are not willing to receive Jesus in their hearts because of one reason or another, and I pray for them regularly. 😀 May God bless you!

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  14. Carl, when I looked at my post, I saw some grammar issues, sorry for that.

    I might look like a little happy-go-lucky with my post. But really, I have cried buckets for the salvation of a lot of people, even those that have hurt me before. I won’t wish hell on my worst enemy.

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  15. I’m not gay…. But thank you.

    Why can’t people just more open minds?…

    A lot of answers to that question and I don’t imtend to list them down. but I do know that when people learn to keep their hearts and minds open, a lot of good comes up.

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  16. Agree. ” I think the anger is not towards gays, but towards the fact that we as Christians are now require to bow down to sinful lifestyle with no protection from the law if we refuse to do so.”

    And it’s not about judging the sins… it’s about lamenting over a sin that is being celebrated. As Christians, we should weep over sins just as Jesus wept for us bec of the gravity of what He has gone through the cross

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  17. Yes! For us may LGBT mean – Love, Grace, Benevolence, THEN Truth, not because truth is less important, but because it is meaningless without a healthy dose of the first three. Jesus showed us the perfect balance of Grace and Truth; let us focus our energies on being more like HIM!

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  18. thank you Carl! God Bless you and your family. You just summed up my sentiments at the moment. Might I just add, that they also need education, the knowledge. Same sex marriage does not mean changing God’s law. It is not the Church’s decision, its MAN’s law. Therefore this is just aiding same sex couples, and giving them the security and ‘legalities’ of their relationship. Kind of like giving gays the benefit of securing their bond. It doesn’t mean that in the near future they can’t learn to love the opposite sex, or they can’t help the economy. It’s the WILL OF GOD. Now if people are reacting to this the wrong way, then Satan is playing with them, and they have to start strengthening their faith once more..

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  19. the government can make it “legal”, but it will never make it “right” in God’s eyes

    Liked by 1 person

    • well said.

      also
      major — our children … what they are seeing & learning (CONFUSION).
      so many moms doing it alone already (their children without their fathers).
      best for children to have a mother & father — male & female.
      tearing the family apart is what satan is all for.
      God’s law is still God’s.

      Like

  20. I think you are right. We Christians should show love. But we should also be careful that loving gays does not mean we are accepting their behaviour and lifestyle. There should be a distinction. “I am Christian and I love gays”, although its true, some non-believers will misconstrue that as “I am Christian and I have nothing against gays and their lifestyle.”

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  21. paschaderk@yahoo.com

    So if your problem with God and his word or people? You quote great Love scripture which I don’t agree with. God loves everyone, but he’s not an enabler of sin. Yes, this applies to Gay, those who have multiple sexual partners… basically anyone who has not repented and chose to follow Christ. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Lest ye be born again, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

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  22. Here is another blogster’s thoughts. The title really doesn’t do it justice, but it gives much to ponder. http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-homosexuality-is-not-like-other-sins

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  23. Hi Carl. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but one thing we have in common is teenage daughters (I have three). I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to talk to your daughters about what you believe. BUT… I do disagree with your definition of love. Unless you are reading a different Bible than I am, it says that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” If you lie, you are separated from God. If you cheat, you are separated from God. If you are selfish, you are separated from God. If you are prideful you are separated from God, etc. As a man who loves his daughters and wants to protect them from pain at all costs, I am sure you have instructed them on the consequences of sin. In fact I would bet that you have even disciplined them when they needed it. If you are like me, it often hurt me more than my daughters when I had to discipline them, but I did it, despite my pain, because I loved them and wanted the best for them. The question is do you love gay people enough to try and protect them from the pain of separation from God? You see, I love gay people the way Jesus loved the woman caught in adultery, (except I am more like one of her accusers because I am guilty of many sins myself). What was the last thing that Jesus said to her? “Go and sin no more.” He forgave her, but demanded repentance and commanded her to turn from her ways and not do it again. I don’t have the right to demand anyone to do or not do anything, I can only tell them what the Bible says. I have known several gay people and even called some friend. They are wonderful people and they are awful people… just like everyone else. Let me end with this question. What is more loving, informing people of the danger of their behavior or simply letting them find out for themselves after it is too late?

    Just a different way of thinking about the definition of love from another dad with daughters growing up in a very confusing world.

    Keep up the great work dad!

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  24. Great post! You spoke from my heart.

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  25. GOD BLESS U! WE NEED MORE XTIANS LIKE YOU IN THIS WORLD FULL OF IGNORANCE AND JUDGEMENT.

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  26. Beautiful! I literally said the same thing written here today to a gay friend. I can hardly wait to share this with him so that he knows I am not the only Christian out there who feels this way. Thank you for sharing what many of us are feeling. Unfortunately, our words of kindness are being overshadowed by words that kill.

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  27. As Christians we are indeed called to love rather than hate people. No human being has a right to condemn anyone. That is God’s call, not ours. But we are also told to HATE sin (in ourselves as well as others). Christians have a calling to tell people the truth. They cannot call a choice of lifestyle/ behavior OK when God has specifically said it isn’t. And it is not loving to do so. He calls lying sin, He calls stealing sin and on and on. He also calls homosexuality an unnatural act and it very definitely is sin. We must continue to stand for truth and call people to repentance. It is not a hateful message but one of hope and a future. There is forgiveness available for those who repent and call on the Lord for salvation. Jesus (God the Son) lived in absolute obedience to God the Father while he walked this earth. He only said what the Father wanted Him to say. How did He begin His ministry? What did He say? Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. The time is coming when it will cost us more than dislike if we call sin, sin. The question will be….for whom will we stand? Christ and His truth? or the lies of the world?

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  28. Hello! I really connected with your post. I am a Christian. I have lots of gay friends whom I love having in my life and have learnt a lot from. I am thinking of doing a reflective post on my own blog. May I refer to your blog post when I decide to write it?

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  29. It’s very clear the Bible says homosexuality is a sin and I think many Christians keep forgetting this simple fact. I agree that we need to love every person independent of the sins they have committed – but I also believe every sinner needs to repent of their sins to have eternal life. How many homosexuals do you think have asked forgiveness for this sin?

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  30. Faith Hope and Love. The greatest of these is LOVE. When we judge others and place them in a category opposite from us we draw a line between us and them. Love does not exist with lines. Remove the judgement. the lines go away and love will flourish. It took me awhile to understand this but once I did my life has been flooded with love and I couldn’t be happier. I hope the word can read this article because it puts everything into perspective. Thank you for writing this Big Cheese Dad.

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  31. Here’s a question that should be asked:
    Is being gay really a sin? Or was God just concerned that His people might spread STDs, something which mankind didn’t understand in Biblical times? I’m not joking, either. The Bible mentions a few other laws (such as what foods can’t be eaten, yet we eat today) that may be there because of health concerns, rather than morality. After all, some of this stuff is literally called “unclean”. Nowadays, we have a better understanding on how to keep things clean and healthy, especially as we transition into a germophobic world.

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  32. I’ve saved this link on Facebook but only got the chance to read this now. Thank you Carl! Your musings are inspiring. Really, at the end of the day, it’s all about love and giving that love a chance in this changing world while at the same time keeping one’s self fixed on following God. I’m just surprised at how some people have narrowed down the ability of God by saying God hates this and God hates that. The God I know and love is forgiving, unconditionally loving and understands everything. Continue spreading this message to people Carl. God bless you and your family!

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  33. I have a question. I’ve watched some videos of Asian people kissing and hugging each other (a.k.a. kpop idols).None of them are gay,but rather doing it because man there somehow express their friendship different then here or anywhere else.I find it really, let’s say, nice to watch.Is that considered as a sin.My religion is strictly against homosexuality.I’m afraid I have committed a sin.

    Like

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